January 2016

Scenes like these are today just a distant memory in the Caliphate

ISIL runs out of stones

RAQQA – The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) has run out of stones, the Minister of Executions stated in a press release. “Due to our good work, diligence and steadfastness in the…


One of the rare sightings of Colonel Gaddafi without his sunglasses. Any similarity with Keith Richards is just a coincidence and in no way implies heavy drug use.

Ghost of Gaddafi continues to appear across Libya

TRIPOLI – The ghost of Libya’s ex-leader Muammar Gaddafi continues to regularly appear across the country and patronize the new authorities, local sources report. Gaddafi’s ghost last appeared in his home town of Sirte yesterday,…


Al-Nusra rebels searching for moderate rebels that the US could arm in Idlib province

Moderate rebel spotted in Idlib

IDLIB – A moderate Syrian rebel was spotted in Syria’s Idlib city, local activists have reported, and the news has sent waves of euphoria throughout western countries which are opposed to Assad. The moderate rebel…


Tourists are expected to flock to Lebanon to witness magnificent sights like these, and the country's Ministry of Tourism is already hoping that Beirut can reclaim its title of "Paris of the East"

Lebanon’s garbage becomes UNESCO World Heritage Site

BEIRUT – The massive piles of garbage littering Beirut’s streets have been proclaimed part of UNESCO World Heritage, according to the organization. “We are proud to include all of the uncollected street garbage in Lebanon,…


Oman's capital Muscat, enjoying another evening of not much happening

BREAKING NEWS: Oman does nothing again

MUSCAT – Oman has done nothing again today, according to an official government statement. “We would like to let our citizens, neighbors and the international community know that today the Sultanate of Oman has picked…





rif-aleppo-future

EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Syrian Army top secret strategy plans

DAMASCUS – Professional military strategy maps from the Syrian Arab Army (SAA) were leaked today by a confidential source close to President Assad. The source claims that the maps show future territorial control in Syria…