After Bana Alabed, latest peace activist from Syria tweets from mother’s womb

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DOUMA – The latest Syrian civil peace activist who is capturing western audiences’ attention by tweeting about the hardships of living under Syrian president Assad’s siege and barrel bombs is Salam Albari, a yet unborn child tweeting from his mother’s womb.

After a six year old Syrian girl, Bana Alabed, tweeted about life in Aleppo while being constantly bombed by the Assad regime, captivated worldwide twitter users with her eloquence and emotional appeals, and scored Band 9 out of 9 on the Cambridge IELTS English language test (thereby becoming the youngest person in the world who can speak English as a second language better than 99% of native speakers), six months old Salam picked up the mantle and become an internet peace activist too, and it seems like this young Syrian activist is no stranger to modern technology or to the English language either.

One of the unborn child’s latest tweet chains reads: “For as long as I can recall, I have always pondered on what malevolent forces drew people to such appalling cruelty and abominable hatred.  Our Syrian and Levantine peoples just want democracy, accountability and the rule of law in line with the UN’s Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the Habeas Corpus principle, is that such an unfathomable request? And yet, what we are met with when we voice our dissatisfaction with the current situation is annihilation, agony and swarms of molten metal, burning with the fire of a thousand suns, with the same fire as Assad’s hatred for his own innocent people. I am just an innocent unborn Sunni infant, actually a fetus if we were to adhere to precise medical terminology. What have I, or millions of other innocent fetuses like myself, done wrong to deserve to be put in Assad’s sectarian crosshairs and deprived of life before coming to this world, just because I am an adhering Sunni Muslim?”

Some social media users have cast doubt on the authenticity of Salam’s tweets, claiming that they are skeptical of the fact that an unborn child can use the internet, has developed political and philosophical opinions as well as apparently near-flawless proficiency in a foreign language. Human rights groups were quick to address this skepticism as Fake News propagated by paid Russian internet trolls, racists, ageists, Christian supremacists, Trump voters, admirers of Adolf Hitler and psychopaths, and the people in question were soon banned by Facebook an Twitter for “Assad Holocaust denial”. When we asked Salam’s mother how an unborn child can operate a Twitter account, she explained it as “Insha’allah”.

Ms. Albari also said that evil comments don’t put her son off his righteous mission, but on the contrary, they only strengthen his resolve. In fact, just as we concluded the phone interview with his mother, the young human rights activist tweeted:

“There are at least five million innocent civilians trapped in besieged Douma, most of them small unborn children like myself. Please save us from Assad’s sinister wrath, his long reaching hands soaked to the elbows in blood! Please save us from his Shia extremist henchmen from Iran (an evil theocracy) and from Russian mercenaries who kill for money in drunken fits of rage. We are so small and innocent, just like everyone who is against the evil regime. We don’t ask for much, just raising awareness about our situation, donations in US dollars rounded up to the nearest upper hundreds to the following account: TR840020600000012990022302, and a full scale carrier-borne combined arms military intervention against the Damascus government on our behalf.”