Captured ISIL fighters forced to draw the Prophet Muhammad

sad isil

HASAKAH – A mass atrocity against ISIL prisoners has taken place in a prison run by the Kurdish YPG in Hasakah, according to a Turkish NGO.

According to a report by the Association for Knowledge of Persecution (AKP), scores of imprisoned ISIL soldiers were taken to the prison courtyard and forced to draw a picture of the prophet Muhammad, in what amounts to a mass crime against Sunnism. Anyone who refused was exposed to severe threats such as going to bed without supper, the NGO reported, and denounced the government of the Kurdish-majority region Rojava for “institutionalised religious persecution”.

This comes weeks after previous reports of mass atrocities against captured ISIL fighters, such as forcing them to keep puppies as pets, or lining them all up on a stadium to watch unveiled female hair as YPJ female fighters walked by. The screams from the latter incident were supposedly heard all the way to the Presidential Complex in Ankara, according to a Turkish government statement.

Turkish president Erdogan commented on the recent atrocity: “What we are seeing is another example of the Tricky Kurd plan to wipe the Sunni Arabs off the regional map using mass terror. This is just an intolerable attack on the religious feelings of ISIL fighters. Who are these mountain gypsies to take it upon themselves to free slaves that aren’t theirs? To sow mischief and corruption and seduce local pious women into becoming unveiled nude harlots? Many of the prisoners have died the most horrible deaths after such mistreatment, and many more who have refused to draw the Prophet will die from the inability to adjust to the lack of supper and from having to live on only two warm meals per day. This is your progressive Rojava! This is the monster the Russo-western-Shia conspiracy has created!”

Erdogan described these events as much worse than Abu Ghraib, and comparable to the Rape of Nanking. He also went on to mention that this is a clear sign that the west should support the Islamist rebels in Aleppo and Idlib, because they would never conduct such crimes as forcing someone to draw the Prophet.

The Daily Scimitar tried to reach other Turkish NGOs for comment on this report and accusations, but we were told that their members have already used up their one available phone call.


Editor’s note:

Our satirical publication in no way advocates the drawing of the Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him), in fact we are sorry that we even mentioned it, in text, and online, and we have already started an internal investigation against possible spreaders of Corruption and Mischief in the Land within our ranks. The results of our investigation will be published on the crudely constructed cross outside of our secret offices. So please don’t shoot us. Please. If you really need to, give it a second thought because we make good slaves. We are all female anyway. And virgins.